Things To Do
(Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love My Sunday)
1. Avoid drowning sorrows in the insalubrious institutions of Diet Coke and Jolly Ranchers.
2. Reorganize closet. Refrain from anthropomorphizing contents thereof so they may be properly disposed of. (For example: the Hallmark Woodstock with Shamrock™ is a lifeless hunk of polyester. It cannot think, feel, or beg for mercy as I throw it into a trash bag. The Woodstock with Shamrock™ is not a sentient being.)
3. Look at cell phone resentfully when it doesn’t ring, but aggressively screen calls on the rare occasions it actually does.
4. Use ironing as a means of finding inner calm. Appreciate the zen of laundry.
5. Sharpen wit.
6. Think of something to write for blog in an attempt to beat the infamous two entry curse. (Possibilities: Why I Am So Incredibly Freaking Sick Of Seeing Commercials For "Little Man" on TV; There Is Absolutely No Excuse For Not Correctly Punctuating Text Messages; The Phenomenology of Dumbassery; Ramen Noodles Are The Misunderstood Geniuses Of The Snack Food Aisle.)
7. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
1 comment:
I'm glad you brought up the important mystery of "lather, rinse, repeat." When I was younger, I fell for it. Lock(s), stock, and barrel. Yes, I washed my hair twice each time I showered. Later, during my conspiracy period, I thought it was a clever ploy to trick consumers into using twice as much shampoo. Now, during my extreme lassitude phase, I believe it to be a harmless (but unnecessary and very American) exhortation to be as clean as you can possibly be. Lassitude causes me to be less clean than that; getting completely through one lather-rinse cycle without forgetting either the lather part or the rinse part seems to me to be pretty darned good.
Where do you stand on the lather-rinse-repeat question, Susie?
And there may well be a worse commercial than the Little Man trailer, but it's right up there. Girls Gone Wild is possibly louder and more annoying, although it suggests the possibility of Grills Gone Wild (BBQs flashing their buns) or Gills Gone Wild (Billy Bass in a bikini). The good thing about the Little Man ad is that after the movie tanks for a couple of weekends, the trailer will slink back into the archives.
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